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Saturday, June 7, 2008

Obama Signs his Soul over to Hillary in Secret Meeting!!!!

Entering the Washington home of Sen. Dianne Feinstein, Barack Obama, bursting with arrogant confidence just moments before, suddenly felt uneasy.

Sen. Feinstein welcomed him and his aids at the door and was talking pleasantries as they walked to the hallway toward her sitting room, the only thing he remember hearing was that Hillary was already here and waiting for him. She walked him into the sitting room, chatted for a second with Hillary, and then excused herself.

The room was eerily quiet. As Hillary dismissed both their representatives from the room, a icy chill ran down Barack's body. With the click of the door closing, a cold sweat began to break out on his forehead.

"Well Barack, how badly do you want to be President?" Hillary asked in an almost threatening way.

Obama turned and gasped in horror! Sitting at the table was Hillary Clinton; but she looked different. Her eyes were neon red, her skin a burnt orange, and a pair of wings and a tail had burst through her pants suit!

"Satan!" Obama blurted out!

"Well Barack, how badly do you want to be President?" Hillary repeated, her tail swinging back and forth like a metronome.

Obama paused, his eyes narrowing, and smiled. Hillary smiled back with a mouthful of fangs. "A lot." he replied as he sat down opposite her.

She reeked of death, decay, and flatulence; he barely noticed. After all, he was a politician too. The odor reminded him of.....the Senate. He began to relax as the horrid stench comforted him with it's familiarity. He reached down into his right sock and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"I'm not very pleased that you beat me!" Hillary hissed, her wings unfurling slightly, "But it is what it is." She sat back. "You need my support to beat McCain, you know that don't you?"

Obama took in a deep lungful of smoke and laughed. "Too much of your support will drive the lilly white housewives right into McCain's camp and you pissed off Charlie Rangel already. I need your heartfelt concession; your delegates, and for you to back off. I'll take care of the old fart myself." he replied confidently.

"Really", Hillary smirked, "and how are you going to deal with the October release of the Fox News video on YouTube video showing your racist wife Michelle on-stage with Louis Farrakhan lambasting Caucasian America with the term "whitey?"

Obama froze. "That video doesn't exist anymore!" Hillary just smiled. "I'm telling you that video does not exist!" he replied angrily.

Hillary smiled again, and reached into a $3000 purse a supporter had slipped to her and removed a DVD. Wings flapping, she floated over to Feinstein's entertainment center, slipped the DVD into the player and turned on the flat screen TV. "Surprise!"

Obama stared and listened in amazement for what seemed to be an eternity. When Hillary stopped the DVD and removed it, he visibly flinched. "Where the hell did you get that from?" he asked in almost a whisper.

Hillary laughed. "Where the HELL indeed!" Moving quickly, she towered over the slumping Obama. "You have NO IDEA of the POWER at my disposal" she lashed out. "If it wasn't for my idiot husband and his stupid remarks during the campaign, we wouldn't even be having this conversation!"

She floated back over to her chair. Suddenly, she was all business. " You said you wanted to be President 'a lot'. Well, without something in it for me, that's not going to happen."

Her eyes narrowed. "I have an AGENDA. I've had it for 40 years! I've planned carefully. If it wasn't for me, Bill would have been a successful Real Estate Agent in Arkansas, screwing every waitress and secretary in the State when he wasn't playing golf or selling real estate."

"I PUSHED him into being Governor. I PUSHED him into the Presidency. With all his screwing around and baggage, did you ever wonder HOW he was not only elected President, but RE-ELECTED? Who do you think stopped the Senate from impeaching him? ME! I Will Not Be Stopped by ANYONE.......including YOU!

Obama pushed back in his chair, wishing this was just some horrible nightmare but it wasn't. He HAD to be President....the FIRST Black President. That was HIS destiny....he knew it. But know he also knew he would have to sell his soul to get there.

He pulled another cigarette out of his sock. Lighting it, he said calmly "What do you propose?"

Hillary smiled evilly, "We will leave this meeting laughing and joking.. We will both say it was a good first meeting to heal the wounds of a grueling primary. You will say that your three person Vice President selection team would keep on with their work. You felt no rush to make a decision; to the contrary, you want to take your time and make the BEST POSSIBLE decision."

"You'll keep them guessing right up until the Convention. I, on the other hand, will indicate my willingness to do whatever it takes to put you in the White House." she laughed again, "and when they ask me if I would campaign to be the Vice President, I would say 'No, not at all! If Senator Obama feels I can serve him and the country best in that capacity, I would acquiesce to his wishes. But I'm just planning on campaigning as hard as I can for him to be our next President." By now, she was laughing so hard her face had become as red as her eyes.

"The press will be crying 'Dream Team, Dream Team'.....I'll make sure of that. And then at the convention, you'll turn on that Obama charm you're famous for, you'll explain how important it was that you chose the right running mate. How you interviewed dozens of candidates; and you will have. A waste of your time, but necessary."

"But in the end, shining as bright as the sun on Jerusalem, there was only ONE CLEAR CHOICE. Then you'll give that boyish JFK grin and say "'Hillary, will you be my Vice President?'"

Hillary flew out of her chair, barely missing the ceiling. "Can you IMAGINE the response??? The place will go WILD! Everyone will start chanting 'Dream Team, Dream Team'! Delegates will reach under their seats and be pulling out Dream Team t-shirts and Obama/Clinton 2008 buttons!.....I'll arrange for that." She floated back to the floor. "And you will be the next President of the United States. Interested?"

Obama crushed out his cigarette on the table. "And what's in it for you? I'm not going to be a cardboard cut-out with you calling all the shots. VP's go to funerals and visit our allies. I will be making the policy. I have an agenda too!"

Hillary settle back in her chair, reached into her purse, and pulled out a parchment and a small knife. "Funerals. Yes, I will be certainly going to at least one."

"Here's the deal: I get you elected. I'll give you your time in the sun with your "agenda". I'll be doing some things behind the scenes but I will also do what is necessary to ensure your agenda gets through Congress. You will be the most popular President since JFK. You'll be a hero and an inspiration to both blacks and whites. And you will be re-elected in a landslide, with me as your running mate, of course."

Obama smiled for a few minutes, his eyes glazed over imagining the future. Then he blinked hard and looked Hillary dead in her red neon eyes. "You didn't answer my question. What's in it for YOU?"

She was quiet for a moment; then replied "You will have 7 years as President....a President that will be remember as one, if not, the greatest President who ever served."

Obama frowned "Seven years? But two terms would run 8 years." Hillary smiled again. "You said it yourself, Vice Presidents go to funerals."

And then he understood.

"In your 7th year in office, you will be whom or why you don't need to know, save that it's part of MY agenda. The entire country, every race, creed, color, and political party will mourn your passing like no one has been mourned before.

You won't just be the greatest President who ever lived; your death, which will be heroic, will make you a martyr for all of time. An entire generation of boys will be named Barack. Statues will be erected. Buildings by the thousands named after you. A thousand years from now, people will still know and revere you. Your diary....start one tomorrow....will be more popular than the Bible. Your biography will be required reading in school. You will be legendary!"

More silence. Then Obama said "and you will be President for nine years.....knowing you, maybe longer."

Hillary nodded and smiled, adding "and look at all the other ex-Presidents: do you want to play golf and whore around for 20 or 30 years after you leave office; giving speeches at rubber chicken dinners to support yourself? And put up with that embarrassment of a wife you have? Or do you want to be LEGENDARY!"

"You would eclipse Dr. King! You would eclipse EVERYONE! Isn't that worth it? Seven years and then immortality?"

Obama pulled another cigarette from his sock and paced the room, smoking and thinking. He turned to Hillary. "and for those 7 years, I would TRULY be the President? I would be making the decisions? It would be MY White House?"

Hillary stood up. "Absolutely. Oh, I have I few little things I'd like to see put in place before your 7 years are up, but you will be the President and it will be your White House and your legacy I will have to live up to." She covered her mouth with a pretend cough to hide her grin. "You have my word of honor."

Walking to the table, she picked up the parchment and held it up. "It's all in writing. All you have to do is sign it....Mr. President."

He glanced at the knife, then back at Hillary. "Yes, Barack, in blood."

From Reuters, June 6, 2008: Clinton and Obama held a private one-on-one meeting on Thursday night at the Washington home of Sen. Dianne Feinstein. The California Democrat said the two candidates chatted privately for about an hour and were laughing as they left.

And so it came to pass on that warm June evening,the beginning of the end of the world had begun..........................

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